10th Street Blues

So. Know what I hate? Well, yes...but guess again. Okay, yeah, that too, fine. But that's not what I'm looking for, try again. Ug, yeah! but no! I hate moving! Yeah!!! Moooving! Seriously. It blows. I wish I had enough money to light my apt on fire walk away, and replenish a new apartment with all new "valuables". That would be so awesomely cathardic. Imagine? Every time you moved to a new stage in your life you could just light your shit on fire and get new shit to replace it??? That would be HOT. You know what, I think I just realized why obscene wealth is not written in the stars for me. Because that's what I'd do with my J-Lo money. That, and adopt literally 10 kids from Armenia and give them only two bedrooms to sleep in. But really big bedrooms. like big enough to actually be ten bedrooms, but knock down all the walls so its like one big ballroom split in two. One side for the girls and one side for the boys. And then as they got older they could build walls around their spaces, so it'd be back to ten normal sized bedrooms. They would love me. And be super appreciative of everything I did (like installing convertable bedrooms) because they spent their first 10 years scrapping out a living for themselves and their families in Gyumri, so now they're so happy to be able to go to school that they never ask for anything, and I'm so happy that they never ask that I buy them everything, and then we get into fights because they're like "HEY! Stop buying me stuff! I know you love me and want me to have everything I want, but I really feel like I need to work for soemething before I deserve it, and all I do is go to school and study!" and I'm all like "Honey, school IS your job, and you do so well that you DO deserve everything you want, and I WANT to give it all to you so stop arguing with me, strap on that hangglider and go get some fresh air right NOW before your brother comes in her and starts bashing you with his new NERF bat!!!". And then every summer we go back to Armenia so they can visit with their real families. Ahhh...I love my kids. They're so smart too. Damn, I need to get rich.