Okay, Listen...

I am EXTERNING for a JUDGE this summer. EXTERNING is like interning. Which means I don't get paid. That, I am fine with. Because EXTERNING for a JUDGE is prestigious. That means it's impressive and will lead me to lots of contacts, and a better job when I graduate. Lots of people applied for and badly wanted the position I have, with the Judge I am working with, but they didn't get it because I am better than them. I rock. My resume says so, and my judge read it and agreed. However, some of you out there are under the impression that EXTERNING is like candystriping for the local hospital, or doing a ride along with the cops. Something that people with no life do to entertain themselves in order to pretend to be noble, and mooch off their parents for a little bit longer. WELL YOU'RE WRONG! YOU'RE SOOOOOOOO FUCKING WROOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG! I DO NOT NEED YOU TO CIRCLE AVAILABLE SUMMER POSITIONS AT DISNEYLAND FOR ME, MOTHER!!! I DO NOT NEED TO GET A NIGHT JOB BARTENDING AT CHILI'S, PEOPLE! I'M FUCKING SMART! I'M ABOUT TO GRADUATE FROM LAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL SOON, I HAVE A JOB YOU'LL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND, REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH, OR IF I GET PAID FOR IT. IT'S CALLED EXPERIENCE (ooh, the hot guy across the way just came home. Damn he's hot. ahem...) THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE IN GRADUATE SCHOOL DO! THEY GET EXPERIENCE AND THEN THEY GET JOBS WHERE THEY GET PAID FOR THAT EXPERIENCE. BUT IF YOU HAVE NO EXPERIENCE, YOU CAN'T GET A JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! AND GETTING AN EXTERNSHIP WITH A JUDGE IS THE BEST EXPERIENCE YOU CAN GET BESIDES INTERNING FOR THE PRESIDENT, AND MONICA MESSED THAT ALL UP FOR US HOT CHICKS, SO THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THINK I COULD'VE EVER DONE FOR MYSELF!!!! Do you understand yet? DO YOU? GOOD!!!! NOW, GET OFF MY MOTHERFUCKING BACK AND GIVE ME SOME MONEY!!!!!!!!!