JackASSED

OKAY. JACK FM SUCKS ASS. Who the fuck's idea was it to play Funky Cold Medina after Nirvana's HEART SHAPED BOX?????? Kurt GoBang is clutching his chronically pained gut and writhing at the pain of having his EARS BLEED somewhere in the afterlife right now. The only thing that would perfectly top off this schitzophrenia plagued joke of a lineup is if they played Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time" followed by something off of GWAR's greatest hits and finished up with the theme song from Ducktales. And I swear, if they did, I would not be suprised. I could totally see them having a "theme songs of the 80's weekend" where we'd all have to suffer through the opening jingles of such classics as "Just the Ten of Us" "Small Wonder" "Teenage Mutant Nija Turtles" and "Out of this World", intermittently peppered with hardcore NWA, Anthrax, and Megadeath, just for a chance to win tickets to the Pico Rivera Half-Breed Dog Show (longhaired cats okay), hosted by none other than the principle from Saved by the Bell. Yeah, I know, I could just turn this noise off. But you see, then I'd be left alone with my Model Rules of Professional Conduct book, and would have nowhere to focus my rage, except on the contents of said text, which I need to push through and retain some of, in order to not fail completely out of law school. Or I could aim my rage at my mother, but that just doesn't seem right, what with it being mothers day and all. Although it might be a cute nostalgic throwback to my entire childhood....hm....oh, and of course, Falco just came on...