This is my life. Seriously. THIS.

I just finished my piece of toast in the SHOWER to consolidate my morning tasks because I felt bad for wasting time by going to Yoga this morning. And it wasn't like I shoved the remaining bites in my mouth, walked over while chewing, and swallowed as I stepped in. No. I turned the shower on, de-robed, grabbed the 3/4 of a piece left on my plate, and TOOK IN IN THE SHOWER WITH ME. I'm serious. You think I'm lying? You think I'm exaggerating for the comedic value? Well, you're wrong. You are sooooo wrong. I stood there, with my back to the water, getting my hair moist and ready for the first round of lather, and, with my right hand strategically placed outside the flow of the shower head, I continued devouring the buttery goodness of my rye bread. Until I realized what I was doing, blinked in disbelief a few times, then immediatly soaked the toast with an OCEAN OF TEARS, shed at the utter DISPAIR that only the realization that my life is in utter SHAMBLES can produce. BREAKFAST IN THE SHOWER, ladies and gentlemen. It's like that SNL skit with Dan Ackroyd about the Breakfast Feeding Bag that you could strap on like a horse and eat while you're driving to work. Except this is REALLY HAPPENING TO ME. And you know what's even sadder...there was nobody here to laugh at me...because I live ALOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEE......... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!